I am fed up with gay marriage. I'm tired of hearing about it. I'm tired of the homosexual community whining for the "right to get married," and I'm tired of the conservatives whining that gays want to be married. I'm just... done.
Shut up, already.
First, to the gays, I get it that you want the rights afforded by our government to heterosexual married couples. For years, it was proposed that these could be afforded to you via something called "Civil Unions," but that wasn't enough for the more militant liberal homosexuals. They wanted more. They wanted "real marriage" the way the Christian Fundies have it.
Why, though, do any of you demand the acceptance from and the participation of people who have beliefs that are counter to gay marriage? Why would you want someone to bake your wedding cake who is opposed to your wedding? Why would you want to force a pastor to perform your ceremony if said pastor thinks you're going to Hell in the express lane? This isn't simply about rights... this is about gaining the same prestige/status/honor/respect etc those people have for heterosexual couples. Guess what... it ain't gonna happen. Get over it. Why get so wound up over what someone else thinks of you? Quit being the bully (you didn't know that's what you were being, did you?) Oh, and guess what happened the Friday the Supreme court legalized gay marriage. It became a war. Before, those backwards Fundies were willing to tolerate you and be loving. Now, with it clear the next step is to sue the first pastor who refuses to perform your ceremony, you're the enemy. Sue the pastor, sue to have the religious status of the church removed, destroy the First Amendment. That's what's coming. Now, I realize that the overwhelming vast majority of gays don't give a darn about any of that, but this is the war being waged in YOUR name.
To the Christian Conservatives (of whom I consider myself a member), what are you whining about? Do you REALLY think gays having the right to marry will do any more damage to the "institution of marriage" that you haven't already done yourselves? My mother has been married 7 times. I wasn't around for the first, but for the remainder, they were all performed by pastors, and most were done in churches. Exactly which of you stood up to say, "Hey, you shouldn't get married! You're giving a bad name to a Holy institution set by God that marriage is between one man and one woman?" Which of you stood up and said, "Hey woman, the first married couple was Adam and Eve, not Adam, John, Steve, William, Markus, Jack, then Frank and Eve!"
Yeah... none of you did that. Not one.
Which one of you came to me or any of my siblings and said, "Hey, I know you love your mom and all, but let me explain this marriage thing to you."
Yeah... not one. Some day, I'll have to expound on how well that's worked out for the institution of marriage among myself & my siblings.
There's a lot of gnashing of teeth over the definition of marriage and not allowing "these people" to confuse our kids & grandkids. Reality check... Exactly when did any of you confront any straight person who was getting a divorce and say, "You're going to confuse your kids!"
God knows I was certainly confused! It wasn't until I was in my teens that I even met a couple who hadn't gotten divorces every few years.
If you're looking to "defend marriage," you're too late. That ship sailed long ago (and probably sank). Quit worrying about what those rascally gays are doing & mind your own house. And by your own house, I mean literally your own home AND whatever you call your church home. Hold your pastors accountable. They have no business performing wedding ceremonies for people who don't KNOW JESUS, who don't have a firm grasp on what marriage really is, and have a "divorce is not an option" mentality. They have no business performing a wedding ceremony IN THE HOUSE OF GOD for people who are divorced (excluding adultery). That's called ENDORSING ADULTERY. Or, another way to look at it, that's a pastor quite literally calling Holy what the Lord God has called a sin. Ah yes, I just angered many of you, and many of my own friends. That's fine. If you're willing to listen to someone rant and rave about gays and say "amen," then you know you're not mad at me, but at the Truth I just unloaded. Okay, maybe you're mad at me for being stupid enough to actually publish that thought. I'm cool with that.
A few lines ago, I said that ship had already sailed. Divorce happens. It happens, not because gays have confused things. It happens because OUR christian society gave up our standards long ago - long before I was born. The "silent majority" is now the "silent minority." VERY good people have been getting divorced for very understandable reasons because our society has made being married an abysmal challenge. We don't hold men accountable the way we once did. We give women excuses for any behavior this side of killing their own kids. We have accepted a government that is so huge and expensive that both parents have to work in almost every family (between 40% and 60% of a family's income goes to cover the cost of government - including federal, state and local taxes, and compliance to various ordinances). How do you raise kids, love your spouse and still deal with all the challenges of being married when you're both out of the house 50+ hours a week?
A very dear friend of mine married a man she loved just the way our society says you should. He was a Christian. She was a Christian. Their parents were Christians. They got married in a church in front of God, their parents and the whole world. There was no reason for it to fail.
A few years down the line, they're both working long hours on opposite shifts, so they rarely even see each other. He, in his desperation and anger at how it's turned out starts drinking. She, in her loneliness, looks outside the marriage for companionship (not adultery, just looking to fill the void left by the now absent husband.) They drift apart. They fight. His drinking turns to drunkeness and then adultery. At that point, the marriage is already over...
Which one of these gay guys caused that?
And, I'm supposed to get my panties in a wad because some gay guy wants his partner to get health insurance? If you don't believe two gay people can actually be married, then what does it change? If I call my dog a cat, does that make it a cat? Does that make YOUR dog a cat? Does that make your cat a dog? If you're a good parent, will your kids be confused between what a dog & cat are?
But, there's light at the end of this tunnel.
There's a couple of things we troglodyte fundamentalist Bible believing folks can do to right that ship that sailed.
Quit sweating the gays. They, at most, are 5% of the population. That isn't going to change. Most of them are pretty nice people. Why, the whole reason they're called "gay" is because they're so obnoxiously nice.
If you don't want your pastor performing wedding ceremonies for homosexuals and don't want your church branded a "hate group" by the federal government, you better get rules passed in your church barring any pastor from performing any ceremony in your church to anyone who is not a tithe paying member of your church. In all honesty, it should never have been otherwise... if it hadn't maybe I wouldn't have so many step-dads.
The third and most important thing to do is mind your own home. Serve God in this way: Love your wife in such a way that people wonder what's up. Love your kids in a way that makes other kids jealous. Be the city on the hill... the light on the stand. Make them want what you have. Do not fail. No one listens to us when we talk about marriage because they see our marriages. They see our divorces. The divorce rate among "the lost" is about the same as it is among us "saved" folks. What business do we have in telling anyone else what marriage is if we fail at it as much as anyone else? You don't ask a drunk how to stay sober, do you? You don't listen to a thief lecture on how to avoid temptation, do you? Yet, that's what we are... hypocrites.
So, yeah... I'm kinda' done with the whole gay marriage thing.
I don't care if the gays get married. Their marriage isn't going to damage a sunken ship.
The Black Church
The Black Church
For as long as I can remember, I've had a bit of a harder time identifying with others than most people. I've always felt a bit... disconnected. Even when surrounded by loving and familiar people, I've felt a bit of a distance.
The "Black Church" is a prime example.
I was at my friend Tommy's house, and we were just hanging around talking and doing a whole lot of nothing. Tommy was my best friend, and his mom felt like an extension of my own family. If I was awake, not at school or not at work, I was most likely with Tommy. His mother came home from work, and considering WHO and WHAT she was, the tone and subject matter of our conversation changed instantly. Instead of a particular girl we were both interested in for very carnal reasons, we were suddenly talking about video games. It's funny how that happens. WHO she was was Tommy's mother. WHAT she was was a Bible Believing Baptist who was not so timid as to not literally hit you with the Bible if you strayed too far.
"How about the graphics in that new Need for Speed video game!"
She and Tommy started talking about some folks I didn't know, so I somewhat tuned them out (probably part of why I sometimes feel disconnected from people). Eventually, something in their conversation hit me that woke me back up. She said, "They live right next door to the black church."
"Black church?" I asked.
"Yeah, the black church," she answered, as if I'd know EXACTLY the church she was talking about.
I mean, why wouldn't I? Who doesn't know the black church? How can you drive past it and not know it? It's freakin' obvious. It's... it's... why... it's BLACK.
My mind raced. Fearing that mild humiliation of not knowing the obvious, I frantically tried to recall the black church. Surely, I'd seen it. Surely, I knew where it was. Surely... surely... surely I wasn't so oblivious to the world around me to not notice a black building with a steeple! What am I? An idiot?
Apparently, I am, was, and always will be.
Of course, she wasn't referring to a building painted black as I had imagined. She was referring to Prospect AME Zion Church. Prospect AME Zion Church... the church of black people.
I never let on that I was actually trying to remember a building painted black.
I never let on that I didn't know that the term "black church" meant a church where the congregation was all black... er... "African Americans."
I was, of course, ashamed of my ignorance.
Now, I'm 40, not 17.
Now, I'm actually rather proud of the fact that I had no clue. I'm impressed that my mother raised me in THE SOUTH with no clue of such racially tinged colloquialisms. I'm proud of the fact that I simply do not care about your race. Screw you if you do.
The church I attend now is not white... it's not black... It's a rather good reflection of the community in which it's based. The term "church," when found in the New Testament, is more accurately translated as "gathering of people" or even "congregation." I like that.
I shall not attend a "black gathering of people," because my pale skin would spoil the definition.
I shall not attend a "white gathering of people," because I doubt I'll ever live in an area where everyone is white, and I'd feel weird in a room full of honkies.
Instead, I attend a "Jesus loving gathering of people..." and in that respect, we come from many backgrounds and in many shades.
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