According to the reports from the last two Christmases, if UPS, FedEx, USPS, DHL or whoever is delivering your packages don't get them there in pristine condition, then your Christmas is "ruined."

 

So, with that in mind, here are a few tips:

1. If there's not an area near your front door that is protected from  rain, do something about it.  Buy a big plastic container & write "Place Parcels Inside" on it. We'll do that.  We don't want your stuff to get ruined, but at the same time, if we run out of bags, it's on you.  You ordered this stuff.  You know it rains. Be an adult.  Buy that container or a tarp.  Or, if you have a garage door, leave it open.  If there's another place you want your packages, a simple note taped by the door bell will work wonders for your happiness.

2. Put your dog up.  I know, I know... your dog doesn't bite. EVERY dog that has bitten me is a dog that "doesn't bite."  Put fluffy away or don't get your package.  Your precious Christmas isn't worth my blood.

3. Trim those bushes... especially the roses.  If your front door has a porch over it, but there are untrimmed rose bushes waiting to make me or my helper bleed, guess where I'm NOT placing your package.

4. If you order anything that may possibly need a signature, use your head.  If you're not going to be home, don't have it shipped to your home.  Duh.  Ask a neighbor who will be home if you can have it shipped there & have them sign for it, or have it shipped to your work.

5. Make sure your house is properly numbered.  Make sure the numbers are on your mailbox & clearly visible at night (decorative gold letters on a black background are invisible).  If the houses and driveways are close together, put numbers not only on the mailbox and/or curb, but on your house as well.  This will make sure your next door neighbors don't get your stuff, which is important, but will also prevent the ambulance from driving past your house five times if you ever have an actual emergency.


We want you to find your package in flawless condition right where you want it...  follow these 5 steps, and you're much less likely to have "us" ruin your Christmas.

Bonus... order early.  Seriously early.  If not getting a gift will ruin your Christmas, why wait? Why gamble.  Your next click should be to shop for that gift..

As an aside, if your Christmas is ruined by your package not showing up flawlessly, whatever you're celebrating, it isn't Christmas. It's obscene.